Wednesday, April 7, 2010

"I think I'm allergic to playgrounds"

DAY #1 at the PARK
The first photo here is Lexi at the park yesterday.  A closer look at the background unveils Dallas and Trenton on the merry-go-round(or whatever those things are called that spin around and around).  Well the boys played on it for quite a while before Dallas came over to me and said "I don't feel good."  (Like mother like son as I have thrown up after more than one carnival ride).  We sat there for a few minutes before he asked if we could go home.  Knowing how horrible it is to feel like that, I rounded the other kids up and forced Dallas to actually sit in his chair and buckle rather than continue to lay on the floor.  Moments after getting home he spent quite a while heaving over the toilet and emptying his stomach of his picnic lunch.

DAY #2 at the PARK
The kids are playing happily.  Brooklyn is chasing Dallas and Dallas turns to look at her and then turns back around just in time to run his forehead smack into a  bridge just his height.  I run over to comfort him only to discover a lovely gaping gash.  I talk Trenton through calling Daddy on my phone as I'm holding the wound together and after Dave doesn't answer, I have to get Trenton to toughen up and hold the sides of the cut together as I call the pediatrician who of course is on Spring Break himself.  I call the urgent care center the receptionist refers me to as I stare at our car probably 200 yards away and start thinking about how I'm going to get the kids all over there (we are the only people at this particular playground).  Then the urgent care center tells me I''ll have to go to the ER.  No thanks I'm thinking.  Luckily an older couple shows up to play tennis about this time and they kindly offered me their help . .each one carrying a child and giving Dallas a bandanna to hold on his cut. 
My solution was to clean it up and smack a butterfly bandage on it since it was only 1/2" long.  I called Dave a million times over the next hour and half but he was officially unreachable. Then when it started bleeding again (apparently I suck at using a butterfly bandage) I finally called the school, explained the situation and they got Dave on the phone.  He shuffled some of his patients and came home to suture.  Dallas ended up with four stitches and Dave got to play doctor.  Dallas informs me, "I think I'm allergic to playgrounds."

On a lighter note . .. .or really now that enough time has passed and I'm not just mortified by his behavior, here are a few more stories as of late.  I don't really know how to make these sort of stories appropriate so take it at face value in my "lack of a filter" words.

Dallas is chewing gum one evening and I tell him he needs to spit it out as it's time to brush his teeth and get ready for bed.  Well, he gets all ready for bed and the only thing left to do is for one of us to put a diaper on him . . .(yes we were still doing that, but he seems to be on a dry streak for now).  Dallas pulls his pants down and lays on the floor and as Dave goes to put the diaper on he confusedly asks Dallas how he got gum on his his leg.  Then as he sees even more gum on his nuts and asks Dallas why he has gum all over. ????  Standing nearby I immediately start cracking up as my mother's intuition quickly clued me into what had happened  Remember I laugh when I am really embarrassed . .  Dave is thoroughly confused as to why his son has gum all over his little man parts and on his inner thigh.  I then fill Dave into how Dallas had been chewing gum before bedtime and obviously had decided that rather than throw it away when asked to by me he had decided to "save it".  What better hiding place than one's very own private parts?  Dave was really disturbed by this and never did laugh about it that night as he really thought, maybe still thinks, that there was seriously something wrong with the kid.  Let's be honest we've all thought that at some point.  Did you read that. . . MY KID HID GUM ON HIS OWN BALL SACK!!!  Wow.  I can totally laugh about it now, but still wow.            What should we do, start performing cavity checks as a part of our bedtime routine?

Next one, not quite as funny, really just embarrassing once again . .and making us wonder. . . what is this kid thinking???  He comes home from school in a different shirt than he left in and here is why. . .We get a weekly progress report on Dallas' behavior at preschool.  Ratings are a happy face, a straight face, a sad face.  He brings one home a few weeks ago with  a sad face for Monday, smiley on T/Wed and on Thursday a happy face that is crossed out with a sad face beside it and a note informing me that Dallas stuck his head in the toilet.  They wrote, "We explained to him that it was 'durty' (apparently that's a word in KY) and could make him sick and washed his hair in the sink."  Again, WOW.  What seemingly normal kid full on sticks his head in a toilet without being the victim of a swirly?  Let me answer that for you ..  .Dallas. This is the same kid who used to eat gum out of trash cans and steal peoples' drinks and french fries right off their tables at Burger King so  maybe I shouldn't be too surprized, but come on!!!

His teacher is trying to make me feel better by telling me it is because he is gifted and the kid is book smart, but I have my doubts as far as common sense goes.


Carrie said...

I love that kid.

Daisha said...

I've missed the Dallas stories. True excitement in your home. We totally miss you guys. Want to come play?

Lachelle said...

We've only been gone for days, and already stitches?! You deserve a medal for getting you're brood home safely after that event. Three cheers for Briana!

Lachelle said...

That should read your not you're, and I know how to spell dirty.

Kali said...

Bri, this post had me cracking up... I laugh when I am embarrassed too.:) Your little man is a one of a kind. :)

Gaby's mommy said...

Omg, dallas always cracks me up if i were there i would have probly peed my pants i miss you guys so much. Can't believe how fast they are growing.

Elizabeth said...

Hello from a lurker (I have commented before if that make me less weird!)
I just wanted to say that you are amazing for getting all the kids home and dealing with the head wound. Also how good is it that your hubby can stitch up the kids.
Your little boy sounds hilarious and he is going to be something fantastic with that much personality.
Thanks for sharing.

Justin and Lindy said...

Hey it's your 2nd or 3rd or cousin once removed, whatever it is, Lindy! I can't believe you have 4 kids! They are dang cute and oh my, I hope I never find gum on private parts! I was laughing out loud. Hope you guys are doing well!